NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage.
Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings
or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her
shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face.
Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to
point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we
point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am
looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your
requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable,
good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during
my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for
conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and
replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf
husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf
husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the
courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the
excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of
roses. The nightmare begins
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too
much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will
change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese
saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than
a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character
will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper
or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple
is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say
anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore
a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the
secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you
married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered
,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and
not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a
broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's
poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented,
"Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband
let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and
commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey
while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the
husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride
on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a
young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two
persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately
climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened
and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have
everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present,
and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire
his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents
into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered
the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed
his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to
amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery
& saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck."
Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home &
committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take
revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be
repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't.. Too often we fail to recognize the
difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater
than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while
in a rage will haunt us forever.
